Final Fantasy X or where I was this whole time
by Hitokiri Annikai
Summary: What do midgets, Gundam and Oprah have in common? Absolutely nothing so stop asking me! Chapter 2 finally uploaded. Updated when ever
1. We called it sin

Annikai Finally I have written a fan fiction for Final Fantasy X. This one stars the real me and his friends. Now before I start lets have a word from my co-host the stupid foot ball announcer.  
  
Foot ball announcer: Now you see to play great Final Fantasy you need great Final Fantasy players, and Cloud is one of the greatest Final Fantasy players pretty much ever, which made Final Fantasy VII a great Final Fantasy. (Starts blabbing on for about 2 hours)  
  
Annikai: (Pulls out a gun) Finish or I will shoot you.  
  
Football announcer: I am done.  
  
Annikai: Good now we will start the chapter.  
  
Disclaimer: I own nothing (Starts to cry)  
  
Chapter1: We called it Sin and other stupid stuff Auron had to say during this game that every one repeats.  
  
William: (Surrounded by a mob of people) Whoa what the hell am I doing here? Annikai where the hell are you?!  
  
A couple hot women: Can we have your autograph?  
  
William: Why the hell would you want my autograph?  
  
The hot women: Because you're the most popular Blitz Ball player in Zanarkind.  
  
William: What the fuck?!! Damn you Annikai!!! Why did you have to make me the whiniest main character in Final Fantasy history? Why couldn't I be Cloud or Sephiroth?  
  
The women: Stop pitying yourself and sign the friggin ball!!  
  
William: (Signs the ball)  
  
The women: Damn, your handwriting is god-awful! Who taught you how to write? I think I could write better with my ass.  
  
William: (Thinks he would like to see that) (Giggles.)  
  
The women: (Still bitching but for some reason the voices get higher pitched and the neighborhood dogs start gathering around)  
  
William: (Starts thinking what the fuck)  
  
The women: (Heads explode)  
  
Some dumb voice: Your head a plode.  
  
William: Well that was anticlimactic. (Wonders what to do next.) (Pulls out a strategy guide.)  
  
Three stupid kids: Teach us how to Blitz!!  
  
William: Give me a minute I haven't made it to that page in the strategy guide.  
  
The kids: What your using a strategy guide? This is the easiest Final Fantasy known to man. Badly trained monkeys could beat it in less than three days. (Goes on like this for about an hour) William: Oh shit it is gonna happen again! (Ducks and covers under a table.)  
  
The kids: (Heads explode)  
  
Dumb voice: Your head a plode.  
  
William: Well now that that is over with shouldn't I enter a really cool cut-scene where I play Blitz Ball while Sin attacks. Game: (Really cool cut-scene starts where William is playing Blitz Ball while Sin attacks and William's friend Matt stands on a building dressed like Auron holding a water bottle.)  
  
Blitz Ball Stadium: (Gets destroyed)  
  
William: (Sees his friend) Auron? What the hell Matt how did you get to be Auron?  
  
Matt: I whined to Annikai until he made me Auron.  
  
William: (Looks at the big water thingy) What the hell is that???!!!  
  
Matt: We called it Sin (Tries to keep a serious face but then laughs.) That line is so stupid.  
  
Game: (Final Fantasy music starts playing)  
  
William: What the hell? Where is that music coming from?  
  
Sin spawn: (Lands on a building and shoots out sin scale everywhere)  
  
Matt: (Hands William a sword) You know how to use this?  
  
William: (Cuts random things in half) I think I do.  
  
Matt and William: (Enter battle with Sin Scale)  
  
Matt: Some can't wait to die (Bursts out laughing again)  
  
William: Do you know how to fight these things?  
  
Matt: No you?  
  
William: No clue.  
  
Matt: Why don't we do what they do on Dragon Ball Z?  
  
William: What's that?  
  
Matt: First we spend like two episodes powering up the eight saying how we have to win this fight, then another four doing a pre fight fight where both of us get knocked out and three more waking up then like two more ascending to the next level and finally 15 more doing the actual fight and winning but letting some weak wrestler take all of the credit and all of this takes place during about 30 minutes.  
  
William: But isn't this supposed to be one of the easiest fights in the game?  
  
Matt: You got a better idea?  
  
William: No  
  
Game: (34 episodes or 30 minutes later.)  
  
William: I can't believe you let that stupid store clerk take all the credit!!  
  
Matt: Yeah me either but that was one great fight wasn't it?  
  
William: Hell yeah I bet there will never be a better fight than that one in fact I pity anyone who did not see or read a description of it.  
  
Matt: Yeah me too.  
  
William: (Sees a save point) Hey what is that blue orby thingy?  
  
Matt: We called it a save point.  
  
William: (Saves)  
  
William: Now what?  
  
Matt: (Surrounded by Sinscales) We Fight.  
  
William: (Pulls out his sword and cuts a sinscale in half but another one takes it's place) Matt I think we gotta problem here.  
  
Matt: Go for that unstable tank thingy that looks like it is about to blow up.  
  
William: Why?  
  
Matt: Trust me I played this game before.  
  
William: Okay (slashes it with his sword and it falls down and blows up)  
  
Building: (Falls down on the bridge)  
  
William and Matt: (Start floating up into the air)  
  
Matt: You sure.  
  
William: What the hell?  
  
Matt: William this is your story.  
  
William: (Gets sucked into sin)  
  
To be continued  
  
Next chapter: Watch where you are pointing those claws. 


	2. Final Fantasy IX doesn't count

Announcer's voice: What we now bring you is the fabled lost second chapter of Final Fantasy 10 or Where I was this Whole time a chapter so horribly bad and with so many mistakes that the computer that it was originally typed on exploded in rage, next time we promise a better chapter but for now God's Speed.

Jay: Last time, whoa blue orby thingy… unstable tanky thingy… cut slash shwaa Jedi.

Chapter 2: WTF or Final Fantasy IX doesn't count.

William: (wakes up with a hang over) Dude WTF happened last night.

Matt: (lying right next to him) We got drunk and one thing lead to another…

William: (eyes open really wide) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhh!!!

William: (wakes up in some random water covered place that you will probably never see again because this game has more plot holes than I have voices in my head) Where am I.

His Dad: (sitting right next to him) Hi son.

William: AAAAAAAAAAAAaHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHh!! Don't play hide the snake again.

William: (wakes up sitting on the popes lap) Why is this chair so lumpy. (sees the pope) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHh.

William: (wakes up in an episode of Barney)

Barney: I love you, you love me.

William: (is about to cut Barney in half but wakes up again) Dammit.

William: (is in some random ruins area and starts to cross the bridge but it breaks because the developers hated the main character and wanted him to die early on but they forgot he could swim) Damn this stuff that I don't say just keep getting longer and longer.

Weird Fishy creatures: (are about to attack William but then a really big fish comes by and eats them both)

Really big fish: (is about to attack William when a really small guppy comes up and eats the really big fish)

William: (completely oblivious to what just happened swims up to the small fish and is about to pet it) Hey you're a cute little fishy yes you are.

Little fish: (Eats another really big fish right next to William and then chases William)

William: (begins to swim very fast) AAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH its Satin in small bite size form. (Swims into some random cave)

Some random announcer's voice: I was out of the frying pan and into the freezer.

William: Dude WTF. (walks around awhile) Damn it's cold. Maybe I should make a fire. (finds some wood) Oh well here goes nothing. (tries to cast fire)

Random announcer's voice: You don't have that power fag.

William: That's gay. In like every Final Fantasy since VI the main character could use fire or some sort of spell and you are trying to tell me that I can't.

Random announcer's voice: Yep pretty much, but hey the main character could not use fire in Final Fantasy IX.

William: Every one knows that final fantasy IX doesn't count.

Announcer guy: Shut up! (stops speaking)

William: (sits there for about an hour) Damn man this is Hoth cold.

Weird monster dude thingy: (pops out of some random place that was either never mentioned or I was to high to notice you choose)

William: Whoa WTF is that. (monster stabs him and then the wall explodes for no apparent reason)

A group of people who look like they are in some sort of fetish outfit or something: (walk through the hole)

The only girl in the group: (throws a grenade at the monster and turns in into a pile of goo)

William: Thanks for saving me.

The girl: (punches him in the stomach) translated from Albed Bitch said something about my mom. Bring in Buba he hasn't done it in a while.

William: (falls unconscious)

To be continued.


End file.
